阿晖寂寞杂记- 4

寂寞阿晖今天终于吃午餐了，忙碌+省钱的情况下，唯有这样了。算一算，已经四天过这不食人间烟火的日子，又饿又累，家里只剩下是个晚上睡觉的地方而已。这段日子里，寂寞阿晖活在多重压力下的日子，觉得自己好像又老了，憔悴。

还剩下几天新学期就要开始了，但我的研究好像还在原地跑步，一直无法迈向结束前进。另一方面，钱都花玩了，贷款还没来。惨！

以前，压力时会去游泳，不管怎样都会去消消气，解解压。他妈的，这个鸟不生蛋的地方...

深呼吸。。。。。。一切都回过去的。

Black out!!!

Marine Hatchery is pretty suck!! Always black out!!

Today, in my plan, I should conduct 1 cycle of my experiment. Therefore, I wake up early morning, prepare everything then arrived hatchery before 8.30 am. But when I arrived, not only Marine Hatchery, even Akuatrop also black out. If there is a black out in housing area is still not a big deal. But in hatchery there are million of living organisms been affected without aeration, light, heater or air condition.

Today, almost 1/4 campus was black out, from Marine Hatchery to CIMB area. That mean institute like IMB, INOS and Oceanography are also included. Haiz...I have to postpone my experiment again. Until noontime, Thanks God, Hatchery and Aquatrop have been fixed. Okay, everything seem like fine, and I start to conduct my in Hatchery and Aquatrop. While waiting for the next step, I have go to IMB to prepare buffer for protein extraction. When I arrive IMB, I saw the doors were open widely and there was very dark inside. OMG!! FXXK!! Julius the Science officer try to start a generator to keep the -70C freezer, but fail. Shit!! How about my chemicals inside...

阿晖寂寞杂记- 3

寂寞男人的可爱金鱼死了。。。。为什么就酱死了。难道你们缺乏爱心吗？

FYP 真的搞到我快要疯了！！！先是用具和仪器不齐全不够用不惯用，要往三四地方跑，要配合每个地方的时间；一个星期只有五天上班的时间，哪里够用哦！！；他妈的使用或借用仪器又要几百个签名；我的鱼又某丁丁死了百多只，很无助彷徨；从叶子变龙珠果皮就算了，还要重复几百遍，他妈的龙珠果现在又难买，但最后在MYDIN终于找到，我还去唐人街的餐馆要，幸好大部分老板都很愿意帮我留着龙珠果的皮，但老板们都不敢保证，因为之前不可以卖冰，所以影响生意；。。。。

要赶写我硕士的GRANT PROPOSAL。。。

另个烦恼又来了，那就是我$$已经山穷水尽，假期大家都吃家里住家里的，还可以打工，但我光是买车票，吃饭，还水电费到来就没钱换上网费，加上他妈的整天下雨又要驾车没机会驾摩托，$$又烧掉了！

一连串的压力和不顺心，搞到我这个寂寞男人就快要变成忧郁男人。希望一切可以快点成为过去。

阿晖寂寞杂记- 2

寂寞男人这次要跟你们分享一个短片




Bridget Jones's Diary. 好几年看过的一部喜剧，一共有三部，还蛮蛮好笑的，值得一看的。我是寂寞孤单但还没像他那样的可怜。哈哈！

可能日子过得清闲，吃得好，睡得饱，就会产生心旷体胖的效果。怎么裤子有点紧，才发现我在朝向70KG迈进！短短的一个星期多，我已经重了4KG。哇噻！当猪肉卖就好！hehehe! 人是增值了，但钱包却贬值了，是时候控制食量了！！！结果我最近都是自己煮。省钱又健康，不错不错。其实我希望可以在毕业后去背包旅行，所以现在要开始凑钱了，希望可以啦。

想一想，妈妈现在应该已经在去韩国旅行的途中。妈妈最爱旅行了，希望他旅行愉快。我还偷偷的要妈妈买给我好看的T-shirt，嘻嘻 ！

看到刚买回来的鱼健康，心里就安定了不少。但在这鸟不生蛋的地方经常下大雨，下到我都快要发霉了！！快点晴天吧！

阿晖寂寞杂记- 1

想要开始我的“寂寞杂记”好几次了，但每次才刚要动笔就打消念头，可能寂寞男人没有什么可以分享的，呵呵！好啦！千里之行，始以足下。

一个星期前，我的鱼无缘无故的都争着要去投胎，阎罗王有那么帅吗？结果，我有点不知所措，幸好阿爰和SHEELA帮我洗鱼缸还有陪我再去买新的鱼。结果连跑了三家宠物店都没货！！最快星期天才到！！屈指一算，哇塞！我要等上一个星期，然后又要再等一个星期让鱼适合环境。再算一算，那个时候还有一个星期就要开学了。天啊！！！！

就在心情低到极点时，她们就安慰我：“你如果早做完FYP，你以为DR YEONG会放过你咩？” 对咯hoh！他一定会说：“HUI， WHY DON’T YOU TRY 。。。”他的那种TRY是你无法拒绝的。

费了一个星期，今天终于要去买鱼，希望可以买到。

PS：昨天我才发现鱼死的原因，可能是ANTI-CHLORINE（好像盐）变质，变得浅灰色，还有它会让水起泡。

Life is full of challenges

I'm 22, grown up to face lots of problems in my life. I believe we have to be up against with every big troubles in certain moments no matter what.

Now, my task is to finish my final year project with a satisfactory result. So, I can fulfill my 'loving' supervisor's curiosity and let me graduate.

Even though we are not perfect but we can try to make it better and better.

I know there are thousand of challenges in future. Thereby, our life is full of challenges......Cheer!

生活杂记

这阵子可以用一个或两个字来形容。。。忙和很忙。。。或盲和很盲

已经二十二的我，但看来年近三十了，很憔悴一下。胡子长满脸，头发掉到剩不多。

假期又好像没假期酱，希望早点可以调整里里外外。

人因时间而改变

曾几何时，你是我想留下来的动力，但现在，你却使我想离开理由。

人往往都会因时间而改变。

如何重拾信心？？

打从我懂事以来，我就知道自己是个没有自信心的人，所以对以那些自信心爆棚的人就会敬而远之，不时还会偷偷羡慕甚至讨厌他们。多年来的自卑，让我不敢多认识朋友，身体驼背，眼睛望地上看的走路，如果可以的话还尽量加快脚步。

直到来到大学，我的自卑感渐渐的减少了，但对以自己的里里外外的信心还找不到。平凡的我，每当看完“我猜”后，更是自认平凡，没有长处。这几年来，因为经历了班活动的经验，在学业上开始找到了方向，那股来自内心的喜悦和成就感让我信心增加了不少。哈哈！谢谢大学的生活改变了我。

今年，我发现我的生活圈值变小了，可能是把生活重心都放在学业，研究，和少许的朋友上。思想也可能因此而变得窄小，当遇到问题和挫折时就会不知所措，会转牛角尖，结果问题还是问题，没解决到。也因挫折，自信心又淡掉了。信心，我该如何重新拥有你呢？

忙碌的日子终于来了！

左等右等，我大概两个月前订的chemical，经过了风风雨雨终于到了。。。。这也表示我的FYP也可以开始了。

这种感觉就像女生每个月的生理期一样：是时候了但还没来，就会担心；来了以后，就嫌麻烦。

大考靠近了，小考就赶紧的来了，assignment也一样，还得抽出时间来做FYP。

Last time I've asked my supervisor - Dr. Yeong about the time allocation on my acedemic, research and entertainment. The answer is

acedemic : research : entertainment
45% : 45% : 10%

What the fXck!!! How can live in such life!! Hahahaah!!!

观音菩萨也来当代言人？？

Lately, we can feel the stress come from economic crisis. For example, I begin for a my related field job from internet....sad to say...the jobs are less, require related experience, low pay.....so I decide to further my study in 'you empty' (UMT).

There was a day when I'm in Marine Hatchery. Suddenly, I noticed a dazzle light came from laboratory room......Without any hesitant, I opened the door and the glint tortured my eyes.....After a couple seconds, I saw a witch was making her experiment.


"Arggghhh.....leave me alone", Witch.

Beside the witch, there was Guan Yin (观音菩萨）. Guess what is this...


Q: Do you what is this??

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A: 观音娘 Artemia cysts.

Walao!!! Guan Yin Pu Sa also can be ambassador ah?? What happend to the manufacture? How can they use Guan Yin Pu Sa picture as the cover and the name of brand. I think la, if she can speaks, she might say:

" Pay me the royalty!!!"

假期杂记

终于放假了！！我过着一个孤单男子的颓废生活。哈哈！！老实讲还蛮享受的。开始养了一对可爱的金鱼，时不时还会跟他们对话呢！每天醒来就打扫家里，整理整理一下，自己一个在家里开“演唱会”，唱得再烂再大声，也不会有人突然间叫你进去他的房间，然后对你说：“有人跟你讲过你唱歌很‘好听’吗？”。想吃什么，就煮什么吃。原来青菜用水煮会那么好吃。哈哈！每天一早，吃好早餐后，就会到健身房，动一动，想告别我的大肚腩。然后就会去hatchery喂我的非洲鱼，种一下菜。突然觉得原来自己还可过得那么的单纯，心里那份的满足感一拥而出。

我也发现了，自从和你做个了断后，我的原来的性格又回来了。脾气变回又急又坏，耐心越来越差。昨晚跟朋友聊天后才发现原来自己是一个那么糟糕的人，难相处，不妥协，脾气坏，情绪化。。。。我也才发现原来以前到现在我都那么让他讨厌。值得自我检讨的，至少他讲出了我的问题。

在这个假期里，我也发现了好几个朋友，平时跟自己没有什么交际的，突然间会跟我上网聊天。没什么朋友的我，顿时觉得很开心。但是啊！那份开心只是维持了3秒钟。为什么呢？因为他们都是有事相求。另一个呢！怎么讲啊！我以为我们是好朋友，但事实上我们不是，我们只是老朋友而已。好朋友的定义又是怎样的呢？有！他会在你堕落时给你鼓励，寂寞时陪你聊天，烦恼时帮你解愁。。。最重要的！当你堕落时，他不会离你而去，反而会留下，给你加油！陪你一起落泪。还有，他不会要求回报，因为那是为了好朋友。我找到了，谢谢你。。阿爰。

I appreciate what I have now...

My dear friends and families,

These few days i did not update my blog because I'm pretty busy and things happened to me are beyond words. I don't know how to express via my writing. Hahah!!! maybe is because of my poor writing in English and Mandarin.

Today, I realise I'm the greedy people, who always asking more and more from others, but never notice that how many I already possess. So, I'm very appreciate that what I have now. My very supportive families and my friends especially Ah Yen and Ah Young. You guys assist me to overcome many problems even though certain problems still remain a problem, but you have help me much. Now, I have to try to stop asking help from you guys frequently, and appreciate what you did to me last time. I promise, I will try my best to help you guys. Haha!!

Mama I'm ok already...

A couple days before, younger brother told me that you have cried after you read my blogs right??

Mama, I'm not intend to make you cry but I hope you can share my problems. In fact, you are the people I always caring to. Sometime I hope I can share something more and more with you.

Mama, I'm very sorry. I make you worry about me always, no matter what. Mama I'm ok already even though my teeth is still pretty pain now. I will cabut it asap. cheer!

一个人的生活

费着费着，来到这个鸟不生蛋的地方也已经第五个年头了。在这认识了不少的朋友，但大多数都是Hi! Bye! 的朋友，比较好的都已经毕业了。

今天傍晚，看着阿扬和他的同学们一起开心的去吃晚餐，心里好羡慕啊！他们可以和自己同学讨论功课，一起去上课，一起玩，一起完成很多烹饪课程...blablabla.

曾几何时（好自己很老酱，哈哈！），我也有另外四个同学，两男两女。但是他们两个男的，两个女的都很close 而我就那个独来独往的，自己完成很多事，自己一个人的去参加和办活动，孤单又无助，甚至报告慢了一个星期才交都没人告诉我。表面上大家都相处得还蛮不错，但自己心知。

到了现在，幸好还有阿爰你的陪伴，但是还是会很羡慕其他人的大学生活。忙着盲着，我又是一个开车去上课，一个人回家，一个人吃饭，一个人完成很多东西，我已经厌倦了一个人的生活！！！

唉！发泄完后，我又要面对现实，一个人生活。

对不起，爸爸妈妈。

事情发生已经有一段时间了，昨晚是我第一次打电话给妈妈诉苦。（诉苦？好像有点超过了。恩！应该是告诉）

听到妈妈很唠叨的语气，责怪我乱花钱。但这一切听起来都好舒服，好熟悉。电话另一端的我，嘴角顿时上扬。她是我的妈妈，这世界上就疼我的妈妈。不管发生什么事，无论我变成怎样了，她会毫不犹疑的挺我。就在那时候，我突然好想回家...

想了又想，我终于蜻蜓点水般的告诉她我遇到的问题。妈妈的语气突然间变得很温驯。（哈哈哈！她果然是我妈）这时，我的鼻子酸了一下，拼命在认着眼泪。说完，我就冲凉去。

冲凉后，我的电话又响了，是爸爸。一接起电话，爸爸很紧张的问：“我听你妈说你有那个那个，恩...什么这个这个...什么事？哎哟，我也不懂啦！...” 爸紧张又发抖的声音，让我感动得来又好笑。他试着问我发生什么事但又不敢直接问，兜了好大个圈。（哈哈哈！他果然是我爸）这时，我再也忍受不住了，我躲在房间里，眼泪不停的掉，已经无法在讲话了。好多年了，我一直来都把问题藏起来，把眼泪都收着，好强的我认为哭是无法解决问题的，只会显出自己的脆弱。但昨晚，哭，让我觉得好舒服，好像解脱了。（虽然之前阿爰一直要我哭出来，但我都哭不出来。）

盖了电话，我才发现我有三个未接电话，都是爸爸打来的...

对不起，爸妈，让你们担心了。妈，当你看到我的部落格时，你儿子我已经没问题了。家人永远是我最大心灵支柱。我爱你们，爸妈。

加油吧！曾焕晖。

不知不觉中，我已经颓废三个星期。曾焕晖，是时候回来了。

虽然我们只是好朋友，但在我心中你是最特别的。不过近几天来，我开始学会拒绝你（虽然心里还是想帮你），生气你（虽然我脾气坏但还是不舍得生你的气）和不再对你有过分的关心了。希望这样的继续友情可以让我们双方都好。

加油吧！曾焕晖。

众人皆醉，唯我独醒。

After 19 hours 'fighting' with catfish's eggs, everyone is sleeping.....except me. hahahaha!!

But, I'm become a panda now. :( very boring time.....4.58am. Hopefully we can finish this lab as soon as possible. I think I can not tahan already. hehhe!!

Perhaps, I will upload a series photo of fish eggs hatching process...

忙碌的日子

这几天我开始忙起来了，但我好享受这种忙碌，可能是因此而不会一个人胡思乱想。

这几天我开始忙起来了，但我好享受这种忙碌，因为忙碌的生活比较充实。

这几天我开始忙起来了，但我好享受这种忙碌，因为可以不用天天得面对你却无能为力。

这几天我开始忙起来了，但我好享受这种忙碌，因为我已经害怕得空，孤单寂寞的日子。

虽然这几天我开始忙碌了，但在我的心里深处，偶尔还是会很想你。。。你今天上课到几点？今天会不会很累？这次的LAB会不会，又没有被骂啊？跟coursemates相处得还好吗？有没有定时吃水果？偶尔还是会很关心你，分担你的问题。

虽然这几天我开始忙起来了，但我好享受这种忙碌。：）

The best solution for u and me

After a couple decadent days, this is the best way to solve the problem between you and me. Honestly, it was pretty hurt when you said it is impossible to let you love me. Even now I also feel hurt when I think back.

I have tried to drink to anesthetize myself. At least I can sleep well that night, the only night. But after wake up, problem still exist, the worst is I was freaking headache on the next day.

So what can I do? just pretend everythings didn't happened before, be your friend, or maybe buddy. The only thing won't be change is my sincere caring to you, my buddy. Thanks. :)

Tumor in my heart

You are such as a tumor in my heart. Silently but lethal.

You occur in my heart without any aware. senseless but painful.

You have accompanied me for a year. harmonious and gladly.

You grow day by day become deadliness. helpless and struggle.

You mesh up my life. I become emotional and no longer rational despite you have gave me lot of illusional's great time before.

You have woke up my hibernated heart, make it active but somehow you have hurt it whereafter it.

Whenever you influence me, I also don't know what should I do. Until the day I have diagnose your exist. In order to save my heart, I have to proceed a series of surgeries, to take out you from my heart. I know things will not being easy but I have to.

My friends, bless me able healing and get well as soon as possible. :)

The greatest gladness of all

Recently, I realize that the greatest gladness is not from what I have achieved but is derived from the people who I’m really caring to. Last time, I thought this statement will only existed in typical Taiwanese drama. Now, I believe it. haha!!

LI again

hi!! i will going to Mersing, Johor for my 2nd times internship. :)